Remembering the walk.
how's my walk with God?

eating a cup of ice cream.
images of D's book are uploaded unto dropbox, most are quite blur.
ice cream, strawberry flavor that D chose when she came to stay over.
D. a time of sitting down with her in nice nice uncle shop.
whom i hope to bring S to one day.
nice nice uncle charge us cheaper, gave her mounting for free.
G who prayed for her, to have Samaritains as she meets her day at the print shop.
God sent russel, nice uncle, nice aunty, daddy.
daddy assured me to cab home, came down with baby HX to walk me up.
mommy did a quick fix of dinner, and i started folded the papers.
it was a quick rush, and i remembered tw's encouragements, give yourself time limit,
you'll be able to rush it out.
when the clock hits 915pm, daddy who rested with light sleep, drove me all the way to Queensway.
suddenly remember how he drove J and S to wedding.
at first i thought i won't be able to make it,
the binding of 3 books within half an hour,
the shop's closing.
mommy came the day before to help me bind.
sis called on Sat night to let me know the closing time.
all things could be believed, worked out because God sent angels to encamp around us.
with a little reminders, with constant care, with support, with being there,
with helping us believe in a Father God behind it all,
tugging at hearts of our families.

remembering the walk.
the walk through final year project.
i almost can't manage rushing out the words for report, thesis.
God has already brought us through thus far, we don't give up.

i was sharing with J over my struggles -
struggles to be complete.
struggles to be good enough.
i always think that i ain't good enough.
with the low self esteem, i will compare with others.
like realising that others have setup their works, i will feel anxious that i haven't.
be overly concerned of how the whole project will be received,
whether things will be lost, or taken away by people in the crowd on the opening night and the exhibition days. so much weight of negativity.
mentor shared with me before that i release my emotions when i write,
that is why i thought of typing things out.
to share, to release, to realise,
in Him, we're complete.
in Him, the goodness of Him is in me.
e n o u g h.
足。 够。

remembering the walk.
surrendering to the Leader.

Lead me O Lord to You.
Lead me O Lord to let honor be Yours.
Lead me O Lord to my feet
and Lead me O Lord, to let You be my God, fully.

Draw me O Lord, I pray.
Draw me O Lord, to draw near to people,
Draw me O Lord to a love for self, a healthy love that draws away the need to strive to compete, to compare...Draw me O Lord to believe...that all of You is MORE than enough for me.

and i sing O Lord,
I sing. with tears that well up,
I sing. the gifts You have given onto this broken mess of life,
shows how You pick up pieces of us, to heal them.

in my heart, O Lord, I fear.
in my head, O Lord, You speak, You told me before in Your Word,
that when i am afraid, i trust in You.
it's david who spoke of this in his psalm.
the poetry of the bible which i love.
the depth of emotions, the alluring of You,
drawing me from the depths of the desert, and bringing me HOME to You.

friends, have problems, every one has.
some come sharing,
and i have no love to respond at times.

and In the Name of Jesus,
i'm not going to feel incompetent, for God completes me.
In the Name of Jesus,
i'm not going to submit to the pangs of fear inside,
for God release me from these chains,
and in the Name of Jesus,
i'm not going to say yes to emotions that tell me i ain't good enough,
in the Name of Jesus,
I'm going to say yes to victory in Him,
i'm going to say yes to the wonderful things He's going to reveal, to work through.
In the Name of Jesus,
God takes over from me.